oh sigh

i've contracted a case of "the grass is always greener on the other side" recently .....

especially so since last week...when a producer of the martha stewart show emailed me about littleoddforest.... and then i so wished i was in the states instead of oceans away.... i'll bring you along if i could, mandy, martha fan-fanatic. ha.. but i can't even be there myself babe... :(

everytime i have friends from abroad visiting me in singapore, i always suffer from this relapse.... all thanks to 3 crazy americans.... siao ang mohs... thanks for the awesome time guys, i'll miss you!!!! i never knew the area where some budget lodgings are in little india area was so cool. quite sadly (if you think so :p) all i know of are resorts/hotels with private jacuzzis and the like... oh, which, by the way, they did get to enjoy for 2 days at siloso resort :pp

i always wonder why people you seldom get to meet or talk to seem to know more about and understand your thoughts and feelings, believe in you more, and seem to be more interested to know much more, than most of the people you are surrounded by everyday here or are related to, for that matter.... the "other" culture and life atttitudes seem to be much more accepting of me right now...

my mood last week was like the weather... gloomy.... and drizzling like someone's randonly spitting from high above... and thinking alot about the "what-ifs"...

fuck this silly melodramatic melancholy mood. i'm back to my good old springy hyper self! and back to worky worky work! ha

and to the rude emailer last week, fuck you. my business was started with my own little savings, on my own self, and i paid for help that was provided, even by b, discounted or subsidised or not, i paid for it. my "rich" dad was never ever involved, financially or physically. my "rich" mum, i pay her for help she provides. my "rich" relatives, we don't connect like that. i wasn't brought up to ask for free help or to accept any. i worked hard for everything i have, and along the way, i meet nice and kind people who have given me a helping hand here and there. nothing was free for me. i even pay to stay and work in my own home. so go fuck with someone else's mind. fuck yourself if you're so gawd damn free. thanks.